Break The Stigma, Break the Silence

I'm sharing a post I received on facebook and wish to keep it anonymous for the privacy of the sweet person who posted it originally. 

I'm putting this out there for mothers, daughters, fathers, sons, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, friends, everyone. 

If you have someone in your life emotionally suffering, PLEASE encourage them to see a doctor and GET them on medication that can help them. 

I have been on an antidepressant for many years. I made the mistake of missing 5 days in a row. I became someone I didn't like, didn't recognize. NOT the strong woman who cared for her husband through brain cancer diagnosis, treatment, loss of function, and then death.

I was able to do all of that BECAUSE I had the right tools to help me.
I don't want anyone else to have to unnecessarily feel what I felt this past week.
Break the stigma, break the silence. Get the tools you/they need.

Please.

Sometimes It Takes Longer Than Tomorrow

The purpose of this website all along has been to encourage and uplift those who read it.  It has always been my belief that nothing is so bad that tomorrow won't make better.  I'm not so sure I was right.  Sometimes it takes longer than "tomorrow".  It may be a little longer, just depending on how difficult the situation is.

We have all heard it: "God never gives us more than we can handle,"  or maybe you've heard this one: "God trusts you and knows you will make the correct choices and decisions", or, "He's just testing you."  

Some of you may think that's a bunch of garbage.  I prefer to think it's true, because I KNOW we have a God that loves us and wants the very best for us.  He wants us to be tested through our various choices, so we can become stronger.   Believe me when I tell you that adversity, difficult situations, friends treating you badly, and many other situations can be so difficult to deal with that you may feel totally helpless.  You are not helpless.  You begin to overcome by never giving up!  You start by talking to a trusted adult.  Hopefully you have a good enough relationship with your parent(s), or a friends parent, a religious leader, or a school counselor, etc., that you could be honest with.  They can help locate resources that can help you.  If for what ever reason you are unable to find help from anyone, then contact me and I will find resources that can help. I must make it understood, however, I am not a Counselor, Therapist, Psychologist, or medical professional of any kind. If you are younger than 18 you MUST get written permission to speak with me.  I am a parent who wants to help you work through your difficulties if you literally have no one else to turn to.  You just have to keep one thing in the front of your mind: Don't give up!  Life will get better, sometimes it just takes a little longer.

Please also remember one more thing before I sign off:  As you live through what, at this time, seems to be too overwhelming, look around.  Observe others and see how they deal with adversity.  You will learn that  they too are trying to get through this life unscathed.  You'll realize that everyone around you is also dealing with their own set of problems.  You can learn from observing how other's overcome their problems.  You learn that some people handle things well and other's don't handle problems well at all.  The important thing here is YOU!  The important thing here is helping you to rise above those things that weigh you down.  We're going to help you become a good example of how one can overcome anything.  We're going to help you learn how to not give up.  You start by giving yourself a break.  Be Good to Yourself.  You Deserve It!!

Should you want to contact me, e-mail:  candybradford@gmail.com and put on the Subject Line:  CYC-Overcome.  I will respond within 24 hours.  

How can the Gen-Y stay on top of their finances and keep debts at bay

Are you scrambling for shelter to save your portfolio from the recent market twists? According to recent reports, it has been said that during the market mayhem of August, 2011, the investors who were under the age of 35 had to move from stocks to bonds in order to continue making money even during the negative economic situations. Remember that our youth not only allows us to have fewer wrinkles and faster metabolisms but also provides us with higher risk tolerance for investments. But if you belong to the Generation-Y, then are you equipped with enough knowledge about your finances? Are you aware of the big picture, the government debt, the after-effects of yet another recession and above all, the importance of saving your bucks? Are you aware of the importance of leading a debt free student life in 2012? If answered no, read on.

Why is it a vital necessity to save your bucks?

Looking at the spurring level of bankruptcies, budget deficits and all the other problems, the bottom line is that there is no other option but to save money. Despite all such financial issues in the nation, it seems that many young adults are still not aware of the importance of saving your bucks. Saving money can put money to work for you and this can become beneficial when you fall in a financial bind. Unless you save money in a high yield savings account that pays you interest rates on the money that you're accumulating, you won't be able to make money beget money. Achieving financial freedom and repaying your debts without getting help from professional debt relief agencies is all possible with saving money.

The secret guide to investment for the young generation

Are you thinking of investing your bucks in the stock market but scared of the fluctuations and the bear and bull markets? If answered yes, read on to educate yourself on some investment tips for Gen-Y.

• Look before you leap: Mostly it is seen that the young generation is famous for taking hasty decisions but when it comes to the investment market, there's no place for hasty decisions. You have to bet your money only after conducting a research so as to ensure gains.
• Look at the long term: You should look at the long term, no matter you're putting money for the short term gains. Be sure that the investment portfolio takes into account both the long term and the short term decisions and therefore you need to be careful about that.
• Avoid switching from one asset to another: Don't be fickle-minded! Avoid committing the error of switching from one asset to another as you may lose your dollars in the process. Remember that not all investments will reap benefit at the same time.
• Have no doubts in mind: If you're investing your bucks in an asset with some doubts in your mind, you may tend to take the wrong decision. Avoid committing such errors so that you don't end up in a mess. Hire an investment broker who can assist you in every step.

Managing money – What's the secret behind it?

As you're young, you must be going through a financial haywire with no tracking of your income and expenses. Since tough times are ahead, you have to know the secret of managing your personal finances so as to avoid falling in debt.

• Follow a budget: Craft a budget so that you can keep a close watch on your pennies. Don't overstretch your budget as you may fall in trouble. Also evaluate your budget at the end of the month
• Cut short your credit cards: You must cut short the usage of the credit cards as this is not something that you can brag about in friendly gatherings. Use cash instead of credit so that you don't become liable to repay money with unnecessary interest rates.
• Save money: Irrespective of what you earn in a month, you should make sure you save at least 10% of it to build an emergency fund. If you receive allowances from your family, save a portion of that money too.
  
  

Keeping up with the latest tips to save money, invest and manage your personal finances is required if you're a young adult. Follow each tip religiously so that you don't have to resort to professional debt relief companies to live a debt free life.

Five Ways to Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Has your child exhibited signs of poor self-esteem? If so, there are things you can do to guarantee a build-up or improvement in their self-esteem. Listed below are five ways to
encourage and build your child’s self-esteem:


1. Listen and pay attention: If your child is speaking to you or asks for your attention, listen and respond accordingly. Of course, if your child is asking for your attention in an unacceptable way (for example, crying when he doesn’t get something he wants or interrupting you when you have asked not to be interrupted), you should not condone this behavior. However, you should
take some time during your day to ask your child how they are doing that day and see if there is anything they would like to talk to you about (whether it be a trivial topic or something more serious). Doing this will tell your child that you care about what they have to say and how they feel.


2. Encourage trying new things: Whether it is a new skill like riding a bike or trying a new food, find a subtle way to encourage your child to take safe risks and try new things. This skill should be
learned early so that they will know how to handle failure and know the importance of “try, trying again.” Of course, you should never make a scene by trying to force your child to try something new. This may cause resentment and actually defeat the purpose. Find a subtle way to ease your child into it; for example, tell them the story of when you first learned to ride a bike before they try it out. This lets them know that everyone struggles before learning how to do
something.


3. Celebrate accomplishments and talk about failures: If your child succeeds at something, recognize it, no matter how small the task. Give them a high five or just simply say, “You did a great job!” Equally important is recognizing when your child needs to talk about their failures. Some children are not easily emotionally affected by failure, while other children beat themselves up when they fail. If your child becomes angry when they under-perform, you should never ignore these feelings. Remind your child that perfection is not the point when it comes to discovering new things. Teach them that the process of learning is more important than the end product, and patience is a virtue when reaching for a goal. Also, remind a child who gives up after the first try that they will never learn to do anything by just trying once.


4. Teach your child manners: When it comes to self-esteem, a child who knows the difference between acceptable behavior and unacceptable behavior (and knows how to behave accordingly) will always exhibit better self-esteem than one who does not. This is because a well-behaved child will receive positive feedback from their family, teachers and friends. This positive feedback creates a feeling of self-worth and self-acceptance in your child. Teaching
manners early on can be difficult for a parent, but once these values are instilled in your child, they will become a part of their innate behavior.


5. Teach by example: Perhaps the most important thing you can do to teach your child self-esteem, is to have self-esteem yourself. If you frequently talk about yourself in a negative way or exhibit a fear of trying new things, your child will mirror this behavior. Small children are like sponges, and they will mimic everything their parent or guardian does. If you love yourself and treat yourself with respect, so will your child. If you are timid about life and say negative things about yourself, so will your child. To effectively teach your child self-esteem, you must first have self-esteem.


Lindsey Webster has been a rehabilitation counselor for 15 years and also owns the site http://www.mastersincounseling.org           She likes to write about different topics related to counseling and careers.

Depression - Signs, Symptoms and Where To Turn To For Help

D E P R E S S I O N:  Desperate; Empty; Powerless; Relationship problems; Emotional; Sad; Suicidal; Isolated; Offend easily; Not fun.


What a horrible word!  What an even more horrible emotion!  Having just posted "God Bless The Children", I felt the next logical topic to address is depression.  All people, children and adult alike, that have been abused (any kind of abuse) go through terrible depression.  It's a normal emotion when you have had your choices taken away and someone has treated you so inhumanely.  Even those who have not been abused may experience depression at some time in their life.    


All depression feels the same, but the length of time that it lasts and the reason and depth of emotion may vary.  


It's important to know that you are not alone.  Your situation is not hopeless.  There are many things you can do to help yourself, even if you don't think you want to help yourself.  When you're depressed, it can feel like no one understands.  They do.  Ideally you can go to your parent for help.  If your parent is not an option though, find a good friend, a trusted neighbor, even a teacher or school counselor.  Give the people in your life a chance to help.  Everyone likes to be needed, so when you are the one needing the help, all you have to do is reach out.  There are very good, kind people who can lead you in the right direction.  You need to be open to sharing your thoughts and feelings honestly.  Then when you are doing better and your friend needs you, the favor will be returned.  That's what life is all about - loving and helping those in need.


It seems like it may consume you and there is no way out, but I guarantee you that the day will come when you see that light at the end of the tunnel.  You made it!  You feel better and you begin to experience happiness again.  


There is a person in my own life that said to me once "What do you think people in the olden days did when they were depressed?  Nothing!  People back then didn't have the time to be depressed, so there wasn't any such thing back then."  This person meant well, but she had no clue.  She thought that she could advise me to "pull myself up by the boot straps" and just move forward in blissful joy.


"They" (who 'they' are, I don't know) say that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.  This applies to depression every bit as much as it applies to various addictions.  In fact addictions, as you well know, cause depression.  Please don't misunderstand me.  Addictions are not necessarily caused by depression, but instead, depression is caused by addictions, in addition to other factors, such as: Divorce; a broken relationship; hanging with the wrong type of friends; getting overly involved in social media so that time with friends and loved ones is drastically  decreased; associating with negative people; the loss, or death of a friend or loved one; loss of employment.  These are only a small sampling of reasons for depression.


Many times the most difficult thing to do is to look inward at yourself and determine why you are in this situation in the first place.  What is causing your depression?  What do you need to do to correct it?  
1. After admitting there is a problem, reach out to others for their help and support.  
2. Go see a medical professional, in other words, go see your doctor.  There are some very good medications that you can take, at the direction of a qualified, licensed physician.  
3. Make an appointment with a Therapist (Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Clinical Social Worker, to name a few).  The difference between the various therapist's is training and services provided.  A Psychiatrist can provide counseling and prescribe medications, if needed.  They can also admit patient's into a hospital.   A Psychologist does not prescribe medication, but is able to listen and counsel effectively.  They can administer psychological testing and make recommendations based on the testing results.  A Clinical Social Worker can listen and counsel, but is also knowledgeable on what resources are available in the community to help.  


If you have insurance, make sure to contact the Insurance Company for a list of Provider's in your network.  If a Provider is not in your network, the fees charged will be paid at a lower rate and you will have to pay what the Insurance Company does not.  The Insurance Company may also have limits on how many appointments are authorized during the course of a year.  


The following link may provide you with additional very important information and resources:  


Depression Tips   


Disclaimer:  I am not a Medical Professional.  Please use my information only as a guide.  You will need to do your own research in order to get a more comprehensive listing of information and resources.  


Should you wish to contact me with information you have obtained that you'd like to share, please e-mail me at:


CherishYourChildren@hotmail.com


Follow me on: Twitter: @CherishYourKids






Depression Tips

God Bless the Children - Shout It From The Rooftops

To say that I have no tolerance for child abuse is a HUGE understatement.  With all the news coming out about high-profile (alleged) child molesters, (See Sandusky Penn State Univ. and Bernie Fine Syracuse Univ. )  I encourage parents to believe their children and to stand with and support them as they report and recover from abuse.


Hopefully you will never need these resources, but just in case, I've included some additional resources, below.   




Did you know:  One out of every four girls will be sexually abused before the age of 18.  20% are under the age of 8.  More than 90% of abusers are someone the child knows and trusts.  For more information, click on:   


Prevent_Child_Sexual_Abuse.htm


Should you need information on how to protect your own children, or how to report sexual abuse, or even look up a name on the Sexual Abuse Registry, links are included at the bottom of this post.


______________________________________________________

"God Bless The Children"

As sad as it is I think every one of us know somebody that has been sexually abused.  It is rampant in our society.  Who molests children?  Some mistakenly think it's always a "stranger".  Parents teach their children to not talk to strangers.  Unfortunately, you can find child molesters among your neighbors, church goers, and other trusted friends or colleagues.  People who commit these heinous acts can be well educated, highly accomplished and otherwise kind, loving and trustworthy.  It's always a shock when one discovers that the child down the street, the child next door, your own child or grandchild was molested by a friend, neighbor, or family member.  The emotions that fill you up inside upon discovering someone you love has been molested are those of shock, denial, sick to your stomach, anger, sick to your stomach (again), an intense urge to bring harm to the perpetrator, and ultimately a drive to rally your children around you and almost manically do whatever needs to be done to protect them.

Rather than going on about this, I will just finish by saying that we need to teach our children to NEVER KEEP QUIET ABOUT ABUSE.  If someone you know is being abused, neglected, and/or molested teach them while they're young to scream it from the rooftops if needs be.  The only way to stop from being abused is to get it out in the open.  If the abuser threatens to harm the child even more, or harm the child's family, do everything they have to in order to get away, tell a friend, teacher, or parent.  Get help no matter what.  Let your children know that there is nothing they can say or do that will make you love them less.  It is your job to love and protect them.  Put your own self-interest behind you and do everything you can think of (within the law) to keep them safe.  

Last, but certainly not least, pray that God will bless the children with strength and courage to get through the trauma of being abused.  Pray that you also, as the parent, guardian, friend, or teacher will have the strength and courage to always put the child first.  There is no justification for not doing all within your power to protect them and help them to not only survive, but to recover.  

Thank you for indulging me as I stand on my soap box.  If there is something else you need that isn't listed below, feel free to contact me at: CherishYourChildren@hotmail.com.  Now, for those resources I promised:

7_Steps_to_Protecting_Our_Children_from_Sexual_Abuse.htm


Get_Help_Related_to_Child_Sexual_Abuse.htm


Reporting_Child_Sexual_Abuse_to_the_Authorities.htm


To search the Sexual Abuse Registry, click on: Sex_Offender_Registry.htm and it will direct you to the National and State Registry's.


Join the Movement to End Child Sexual Abuse (CSA). For more information, click on the following link:
Join_the_Movement_to_End_Child_Sexual_Abuse




lcb

Court Consultant - Witness Preparation

This website and business is evolving.  My original intention was to provide a central location where parents and young people could access helpful information that would aid in strengthening families and keeping young people safe.  I will continue to provide this information, as it continues to be a much needed service.  I also want to provide you with additional information pertaining Legal Consulting in the area of witness preparation for child physical and sexual abuse.   

I have vast experience in consulting with Attorneys and Client preparation prior to testifying in Court.  It can be an intimidating and fearful experience to appear in Court to testify in front of a jury and a Judge.  Because Court cases involving physical and sexual abuse can be highly emotional, preparation for each case may require a Coach who will provide appropriate direction on how to remain calm, not appear angry or argumentative and how to be a credible witness.    


Should you have need of my Contracted Court Services, please have your Attorney contact me at:    candybradford@gmail.com. 


Thank You.
L. Candy Bradford