Has your child exhibited signs of poor self-esteem? If so, there are things you can do to guarantee a build-up or improvement in their self-esteem. Listed below are five ways to
encourage and build your child’s self-esteem:
1. Listen and pay attention: If your child is speaking to you or asks for your attention, listen and respond accordingly. Of course, if your child is asking for your attention in an unacceptable way (for example, crying when he doesn’t get something he wants or interrupting you when you have asked not to be interrupted), you should not condone this behavior. However, you should
take some time during your day to ask your child how they are doing that day and see if there is anything they would like to talk to you about (whether it be a trivial topic or something more serious). Doing this will tell your child that you care about what they have to say and how they feel.
2. Encourage trying new things: Whether it is a new skill like riding a bike or trying a new food, find a subtle way to encourage your child to take safe risks and try new things. This skill should be
learned early so that they will know how to handle failure and know the importance of “try, trying again.” Of course, you should never make a scene by trying to force your child to try something new. This may cause resentment and actually defeat the purpose. Find a subtle way to ease your child into it; for example, tell them the story of when you first learned to ride a bike before they try it out. This lets them know that everyone struggles before learning how to do
something.
3. Celebrate accomplishments and talk about failures: If your child succeeds at something, recognize it, no matter how small the task. Give them a high five or just simply say, “You did a great job!” Equally important is recognizing when your child needs to talk about their failures. Some children are not easily emotionally affected by failure, while other children beat themselves up when they fail. If your child becomes angry when they under-perform, you should never ignore these feelings. Remind your child that perfection is not the point when it comes to discovering new things. Teach them that the process of learning is more important than the end product, and patience is a virtue when reaching for a goal. Also, remind a child who gives up after the first try that they will never learn to do anything by just trying once.
4. Teach your child manners: When it comes to self-esteem, a child who knows the difference between acceptable behavior and unacceptable behavior (and knows how to behave accordingly) will always exhibit better self-esteem than one who does not. This is because a well-behaved child will receive positive feedback from their family, teachers and friends. This positive feedback creates a feeling of self-worth and self-acceptance in your child. Teaching
manners early on can be difficult for a parent, but once these values are instilled in your child, they will become a part of their innate behavior.
5. Teach by example: Perhaps the most important thing you can do to teach your child self-esteem, is to have self-esteem yourself. If you frequently talk about yourself in a negative way or exhibit a fear of trying new things, your child will mirror this behavior. Small children are like sponges, and they will mimic everything their parent or guardian does. If you love yourself and treat yourself with respect, so will your child. If you are timid about life and say negative things about yourself, so will your child. To effectively teach your child self-esteem, you must first have self-esteem.
Lindsey Webster has been a rehabilitation counselor for 15 years and also owns the site http://www.mastersincounseling.org She likes to write about different topics related to counseling and careers.
encourage and build your child’s self-esteem:
1. Listen and pay attention: If your child is speaking to you or asks for your attention, listen and respond accordingly. Of course, if your child is asking for your attention in an unacceptable way (for example, crying when he doesn’t get something he wants or interrupting you when you have asked not to be interrupted), you should not condone this behavior. However, you should
take some time during your day to ask your child how they are doing that day and see if there is anything they would like to talk to you about (whether it be a trivial topic or something more serious). Doing this will tell your child that you care about what they have to say and how they feel.
2. Encourage trying new things: Whether it is a new skill like riding a bike or trying a new food, find a subtle way to encourage your child to take safe risks and try new things. This skill should be
learned early so that they will know how to handle failure and know the importance of “try, trying again.” Of course, you should never make a scene by trying to force your child to try something new. This may cause resentment and actually defeat the purpose. Find a subtle way to ease your child into it; for example, tell them the story of when you first learned to ride a bike before they try it out. This lets them know that everyone struggles before learning how to do
something.
3. Celebrate accomplishments and talk about failures: If your child succeeds at something, recognize it, no matter how small the task. Give them a high five or just simply say, “You did a great job!” Equally important is recognizing when your child needs to talk about their failures. Some children are not easily emotionally affected by failure, while other children beat themselves up when they fail. If your child becomes angry when they under-perform, you should never ignore these feelings. Remind your child that perfection is not the point when it comes to discovering new things. Teach them that the process of learning is more important than the end product, and patience is a virtue when reaching for a goal. Also, remind a child who gives up after the first try that they will never learn to do anything by just trying once.
4. Teach your child manners: When it comes to self-esteem, a child who knows the difference between acceptable behavior and unacceptable behavior (and knows how to behave accordingly) will always exhibit better self-esteem than one who does not. This is because a well-behaved child will receive positive feedback from their family, teachers and friends. This positive feedback creates a feeling of self-worth and self-acceptance in your child. Teaching
manners early on can be difficult for a parent, but once these values are instilled in your child, they will become a part of their innate behavior.
5. Teach by example: Perhaps the most important thing you can do to teach your child self-esteem, is to have self-esteem yourself. If you frequently talk about yourself in a negative way or exhibit a fear of trying new things, your child will mirror this behavior. Small children are like sponges, and they will mimic everything their parent or guardian does. If you love yourself and treat yourself with respect, so will your child. If you are timid about life and say negative things about yourself, so will your child. To effectively teach your child self-esteem, you must first have self-esteem.
Lindsey Webster has been a rehabilitation counselor for 15 years and also owns the site http://www.mastersincounseling.org She likes to write about different topics related to counseling and careers.
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